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mio ([personal profile] moonblades) wrote2024-03-05 09:51 am
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-18 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Incentive to distrust one another, even.

[Not that Erika has much in the way of distrust for those two in particular. They don't like her. She doesn't like them. But they seem roughly consistent.

She recalls Bibi cooking breakfast for her the one time. A small drop of envy in her rotten little heart.]


There's little I can offer by way of comfort. [She could say that Mio not being there as much - not being as entrenched in the dynamic - likely saved her life. She could also say she owed them nothing. But as much as Erika is a complete asshole, she's not socially incompetant. Neither of these facts would make Mio feel better. Which is... a priority? Weirdly enough?] But... I sincerely wish there was.
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-19 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
[It's so shallow. To say her intent, and have it be treated as if she managed it. Social interaction is built on a billion of these little fallacies. As the detective, she knows how to wield authority, even among those that don't particularly like her. She wouldn't be able to use the ability if it was backed only by her magic.

She looks away from Mio, suddenly finding it hard to look at her.

She feels nothing at all the death. She feels nothing at all the cruelty. In another life, she'd be standing by Makima's side and sneering as Beelzebub dies. But there's a sickness growing inside of her. Not boredom, like her master or her master's lover. Something far more poisonous, and she can't say she has no regrets anymore.]


...It'll mean more once I - we've dismantled this little game. [Another useless sentiment. But it's all she can offer. She is the detective. She unravels mysteries. There is nothing else about her of value.] You did well, for the record. In trial.
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-19 11:50 am (UTC)(link)
Mm. [Erika looks down at her hands, dirty from all the digging she's had to do over the last two weeks, and she allows Mio's words to float in her mind.]

I don't think you could really do what I do, not in the long run. Being a detective takes a certain type of... character. [And not a very nice one. Someone like her. Someone heartless and cruel. Wasn't that the problem that Battler-san ran into so many times? His inability to distrust? His eagerness to set all the weapons down and be friends, like it was all just a big joke.

It was of course, it just so happened to be at their expense. And hers as well.]
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-20 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
[No offense taken, Erika looks faintly amused by the swift refusal.

Accomplished... it's the wrong word for it. Erika can't help but smile at the question. Does a calculator feel accomplished solving a basic math problem? Does a lawn mower feel accomplished after tearing down a lawn of grass.

It's not accomplishment.]


I live to reveal the truth. It's the highest form of pleasure for me. [Pause.] But I wouldn't say "accomplished" is the right word.

It's just what I am.
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-20 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
You could say that.

[She thinks Dlanor is more of a soldier than she is, but it's an apt description, all things considered.]

I have lead armies before.

[Umineko is a story.]
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-21 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
If a detective can't lead a room, they're pretty useless. Being likeable comes a very distant second to being commanding when you're in my line of work. You need to be able to get testimonies from uncooperative and often grieving strangers.

[She shrugs.] I can actually also do charm, though. I didn't think it was necessary in this case.

[Still doesn't. Everyone else can tiptoe around the gory details of what they're here to do, but Erika's not inclined to play along.]
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-22 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
Mmhm. [Erika smirks. The bold confidence that she could have socially maneuvered her way into not only being acknowledged but genuinely liked. It wouldn't have done anything.]

Granted, most of the people I find myself with are rich socialites with tomes about how to properly perform in a social sphere. But the rules aren't as different as they'd have you believe. Nobody actually wants someone's social performance to be perfect.
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-24 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, they never want you to be yourself. That's the fundamental rule of all social hierarchies. Be a palatable version, or an entirely fabricated persona, but never express your true self or tell the truth.

[People only really like her when she lies to them.]

It helps, of course, that people's "real selves" are more often than not hideously unpleasant. Including mine.
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[personal profile] truthdefiler 2024-03-24 09:07 am (UTC)(link)
Mm.

[Mio doesn't understand it, but Erika smiles, faintly amused at her phrasing. If she reflects on it, it's a bit more complicated than how she summarized it. But there's evidently nothing worth loving about her true nature, whether that be the sneering bully or the pitiful clingy manipulative little brat.]

We do things to be accepted by others so that we can live the lives we want to live for our own sakes. It's a fun paradox.